Dinner With Friends Or An Undecided Voter's Food for Thought

Dinner With Friends

Or

An Undecided Voter's Food for Thought

Jack Gorbett

Characters

Lilly

Max

Chelsea

Tom

Isabella

(Scene. A home)

Lilly is chopping vegetables. Water is boiling. A large dinner is being made. The doorbell rings. Lilly opens it to see her best friend from college Chelsea, her husband Tom, and their three year old Max.

Lilly: Chelsea Hello!

Chelsea: Haha, Hiiii!

They hug like two friends who haven't seen each other in some time. Lilly backs off a little.

Lilly: Ah! So good to see you! You guys made perfect timing. Dinner should be ready in ten. Max! Look at you buddy getting so big! Tom! Come in! Come in!

All four walk in happy and Lilly gets their coats. Lilly yelling to no one in particular in another room.

Lilly: Honey! Sweetie! Max is here!

(::Sound of gunfire:: Two shots::)

Isabella: Mommy? Mommy I'm sorry.

We see a three year old Isabella walk down the hallway slowly holding a Crimson Trace Smith and Wesson 9mm handgun. Lilly smiles and walk to her daughter.

Lilly: Isabella sweetie. Let's not show off now, remember?

Isabella: Safety first?

Lilly: Safety first sweetie, that's right.

Lilly takes the hand gun from her daughter, puts the safety on then hands it back to her.

Isabella runs excitingly to Max who is at the feet of Chelsea, his mother.

Isabella: Tag! You're it! Hahaha.

Isabella runs down the hallway as Max gives chase.

Lilly to Chelsea

Lilly: Is yours the same? She can listen to us nine out of ten times. But that tenth time!

Chelsea: It's the age. They're testing our limits.

Tom: I don't want to sound rude here, but I'm not sure I agree on your parenting style Lil.

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves ' our daughter is an American citizen, and as a citizen she's guaranteed certain rights one of which is the right to bear arms'. We just thought why not celebrate it at the earliest of ages?

Chelsea: Oh yeah! Like Jehovah Witness buffet's or the Death tax!

Lilly: Exactly!

Tom: Well I like the police having guns, but children?

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves, 'Our little angel loves to go number two, so why not introduce her to that amendment as well?' Just because her diaper is full of shit, doesn't mean her world view has to be.

Tom laughs

Tom: Touche, touche Lilly.

(::Sound of explosions:: Both Max and Isabella are walking down the hallway setting of small explosive grenades)

Isabella: Boom! Boom! Boom!

Max: Boom! Boom! Boom!

Max is suddenly ripped into two by an explosive. His upper torso is asking if he can be fixed.

Lilly: Isabella honey. Honey go get Mommy's sewing kit. Remember what I taught you last week?

Isabella: Yes Mommy.

Isabella runs off real quick to get her mother's sewing kit. She's back immediately fixing up Max as good as new. Max is calm.

Chelsea: Oh damn, she's good! My Max can't even put down the toilet seat.

Tom: I don't want to sound rude here, but I'm not sure I agree on your parenting style Lil.

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves, 'If Ben Carson can be a doctor and think there's wheat in the pyramids, then our little angel can perform open heart surgery and mend two halves of people who have been severed in minutes.'

Tom: I must say, I am quite impressed.

Lilly: You guys remember Corky?

Chelsea: Aw why yes, your little Pug dog! How is he?

Lilly: Dead. He was suffering last week, going hungry why we were out of town, so lil Isabella here put him out of his cute Pug faced misery. He's what you smelled when you walked in.

Tom: You know I thought I smelled delicious dog? I have to say, maybe I don't fully agree with the politics at play here, but I'm starting to see the 'other side.'

Suddenly both Max and Isabella are carrying bags of white powdered anthrax.

Chelsea: Not to interrupt this fascinating discussion, but do the kids have anthrax?

Lilly: Ah, they do! Ohhh Isabella. She's taking a science course and she's waaaay ahead of the other kids.

Tom: Yeah. I don't want to sound rude here, but I'm not sure I agree on your parenting style Lil.

Max and Isabella immediately throw the white anthrax into Tom's face.

Tom: ::coughing:: ::coughing:: Oh boy! Boy, that really stings and does not taste pleasant.

The kids start crying. Tom is continuing to cough.

Lilly: Awww kids. Tom here didn't mean to make you cry. Tell them you're sorry Tom. I mean what the fuck?

Tom is coughing.

Tom: I don't...want ...to sound....rude....but...I'm...not sure...I agree...on...

Tom interrupted by his wife Chelsea

Chelsea: Tom, don't be such a dick to the kids!

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves, if our little princess wants to throw chemical weapon grade anthrax into people's faces who are we to say no? What happened to you Tom? A little anthrax in the face and you turn into the biggest pussy!

Chelsea: Ohh that reminds me. Where is the cat?

Lilly: She's the appetizer.

Chelsea: ahhhhhhh.

Max: I don't want to sound rude here, but I thought I smelled burnt cat when I walked in.

(end)