Merry Christmas Baby--"Seattle Grey" to "It's going to be ok"

Merry Christmas Baby

  I find it mildly comforting and fitting that the Seattle grey sky would match the decrepit, depressing, dark, (alliteration time) mood of holiday season shopping. The incessant reminder of the commercialization of a time for bonding and snow angels.

  And I blame my fellow Midwestern mannered transplants. What with our fake Christmas joviality and our intricately stocked endcaps in retail stores showing bright Christmas lights and Santa Claus fixtures a week before Halloween.

   "Hi, I'm looking for a young ghost costume for my young so----"

   "No you're not. You're looking for Santa Claus!!! Right this way. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Mas Christ!"

  I digress.

  The war on Christmas, much like the War on Terror are unwinnable for the same reasons. Just like there will always be terrorists, there will always be self-loathing, self-serving ice cream, (no) 'Christians' who want to make it all about them, I mean (CHRIST)

  No please continue. Yes, tell me again about the poor carpenter who spoke modestly about not praying in public and being 'that guy' everyone knows who's like,

  "look at me, look at me!"

  "Jeff we see you, put the gun down!"

 It seems to me that if we wanted to truly celebrate the birth of Jesus we would most likely want to give all of our possessions to the poor this 'holiday season' and/or take in a homeless person. You know, like he said?

 "Honey, who is this Jerome guy and why does he smell like plastic burning?

 "Jesus Christ honey, this Jesus guy said to obtain eternal salvation we need to smell this shit."

 "Ok. Yeah uh, can we uh buy that eye of the needle that fits the camel through it?! I saw it on sale on Amazon. Done. Ordered!"

  Yes around this time, not even into December officially yet, we begin to hear the holiday songs on the radio reminding us why we didn't upgrade our 3,000 car we bought 5 years ago after almost dying in Nebraska in inclement weather and get a cd player.  You know that?

  I digress.

  The worst is the radio commercials:

"Give her the gift that warms her heart each and every year. He went to Jarred. He went to Tiffany's. He went to Fred Myer."

 "Oh really now? He went to Fred Myer for jewelry?! Ok. Remind me to go to a Klan meeting to read Why the Caged Bird Sings. Don't break the bank at Fred Myer jewelry there buddy. And while you're at it can you pick up bread and cucumbers. They're on sale. Thanks."

  I used to be engaged to the idea of Christmas. I still am. But it was an amicable divorce, a split if you will some time back when I realized there was a war on Christmas!

  And Seattle is ground zero for hedonistically heroically hominins of attacks (alliteration, improper use of words)

  These people say 'Happy Holidays' as if 'All Holidays Matter."

  No. I'm sorry, but no they don't. Black Friday's Matter! Black Friday's Matter!

  Remember the birth of Christ? Neither do I. I was waaaaay to young.

  Fox news needs to get into the trenches. I can't do it alone out here in the greater Seattle area. I feel like Katness Everdeen minus the ability to use a bow and arrow and survive my 'hunger games.'

  My wife makes the best holiday food there is and my weight will continue to rise like the 520 bridge toll.

  We need to take back the holiday to reflect the true values of Jesus the man, the myth, the legend!

  He walked on water. We can drive on the 520 bridge (not without intermittent breaks of our car. It's the coffee what is it?)

  He was a carpenter. We need to breed creativity in the Seattle streets for young kids to fashion 'Merry Christmas" welcome signs.

  This Happy Holiday bullshit just needs to stop. It's CHRIST-MAS. More Christ, less Helll-I-Day.
  (Did you see what I did back there? Es funny)

  But I digress.

  Look, my wife and I decided to celebrate this years holiday season by watching our Netflix que to see where it takes us. As for gifts, together with friends we will combine my birthday near Christmas (THANKS MOM AND DAD!) with a FRIENDSMAS. It's going to be fun. It will be magical. Mexico is going to pay for it!

 I've decided that no Christmas music will survive my musical ear this holiday season. I'm sorry Bing Crosby. (tears)

.

"I'm from Ohio! It's in me! Oh...Hi...Oh, I'd be happy to tell you about the greater Cleveland area!"


 I do have an exception. This live rendition that I remember seeing as a small child still gives me hope in the fat white guy dropping socialism to the masses down chimneys all throughout America and parts unknown.

BRUUUUUUCE-----The E street Band may have some answers to your holiday blues.

So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Survive the Seattle Grey Skies. And if you're feeling down and out and need someone to talk to every little call helps: help

Because it could be worse. You could be randomly shot in Cleveland. Hmmm, on second thought you can live in Cleveland?

296 Days Sober

 

Dinner With Friends Or An Undecided Voter's Food for Thought

Dinner With Friends

Or

An Undecided Voter's Food for Thought

Jack Gorbett

Characters

Lilly

Max

Chelsea

Tom

Isabella

(Scene. A home)

Lilly is chopping vegetables. Water is boiling. A large dinner is being made. The doorbell rings. Lilly opens it to see her best friend from college Chelsea, her husband Tom, and their three year old Max.

Lilly: Chelsea Hello!

Chelsea: Haha, Hiiii!

They hug like two friends who haven't seen each other in some time. Lilly backs off a little.

Lilly: Ah! So good to see you! You guys made perfect timing. Dinner should be ready in ten. Max! Look at you buddy getting so big! Tom! Come in! Come in!

All four walk in happy and Lilly gets their coats. Lilly yelling to no one in particular in another room.

Lilly: Honey! Sweetie! Max is here!

(::Sound of gunfire:: Two shots::)

Isabella: Mommy? Mommy I'm sorry.

We see a three year old Isabella walk down the hallway slowly holding a Crimson Trace Smith and Wesson 9mm handgun. Lilly smiles and walk to her daughter.

Lilly: Isabella sweetie. Let's not show off now, remember?

Isabella: Safety first?

Lilly: Safety first sweetie, that's right.

Lilly takes the hand gun from her daughter, puts the safety on then hands it back to her.

Isabella runs excitingly to Max who is at the feet of Chelsea, his mother.

Isabella: Tag! You're it! Hahaha.

Isabella runs down the hallway as Max gives chase.

Lilly to Chelsea

Lilly: Is yours the same? She can listen to us nine out of ten times. But that tenth time!

Chelsea: It's the age. They're testing our limits.

Tom: I don't want to sound rude here, but I'm not sure I agree on your parenting style Lil.

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves ' our daughter is an American citizen, and as a citizen she's guaranteed certain rights one of which is the right to bear arms'. We just thought why not celebrate it at the earliest of ages?

Chelsea: Oh yeah! Like Jehovah Witness buffet's or the Death tax!

Lilly: Exactly!

Tom: Well I like the police having guns, but children?

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves, 'Our little angel loves to go number two, so why not introduce her to that amendment as well?' Just because her diaper is full of shit, doesn't mean her world view has to be.

Tom laughs

Tom: Touche, touche Lilly.

(::Sound of explosions:: Both Max and Isabella are walking down the hallway setting of small explosive grenades)

Isabella: Boom! Boom! Boom!

Max: Boom! Boom! Boom!

Max is suddenly ripped into two by an explosive. His upper torso is asking if he can be fixed.

Lilly: Isabella honey. Honey go get Mommy's sewing kit. Remember what I taught you last week?

Isabella: Yes Mommy.

Isabella runs off real quick to get her mother's sewing kit. She's back immediately fixing up Max as good as new. Max is calm.

Chelsea: Oh damn, she's good! My Max can't even put down the toilet seat.

Tom: I don't want to sound rude here, but I'm not sure I agree on your parenting style Lil.

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves, 'If Ben Carson can be a doctor and think there's wheat in the pyramids, then our little angel can perform open heart surgery and mend two halves of people who have been severed in minutes.'

Tom: I must say, I am quite impressed.

Lilly: You guys remember Corky?

Chelsea: Aw why yes, your little Pug dog! How is he?

Lilly: Dead. He was suffering last week, going hungry why we were out of town, so lil Isabella here put him out of his cute Pug faced misery. He's what you smelled when you walked in.

Tom: You know I thought I smelled delicious dog? I have to say, maybe I don't fully agree with the politics at play here, but I'm starting to see the 'other side.'

Suddenly both Max and Isabella are carrying bags of white powdered anthrax.

Chelsea: Not to interrupt this fascinating discussion, but do the kids have anthrax?

Lilly: Ah, they do! Ohhh Isabella. She's taking a science course and she's waaaay ahead of the other kids.

Tom: Yeah. I don't want to sound rude here, but I'm not sure I agree on your parenting style Lil.

Max and Isabella immediately throw the white anthrax into Tom's face.

Tom: ::coughing:: ::coughing:: Oh boy! Boy, that really stings and does not taste pleasant.

The kids start crying. Tom is continuing to cough.

Lilly: Awww kids. Tom here didn't mean to make you cry. Tell them you're sorry Tom. I mean what the fuck?

Tom is coughing.

Tom: I don't...want ...to sound....rude....but...I'm...not sure...I agree...on...

Tom interrupted by his wife Chelsea

Chelsea: Tom, don't be such a dick to the kids!

Lilly: Tom, Chris and I said to ourselves, if our little princess wants to throw chemical weapon grade anthrax into people's faces who are we to say no? What happened to you Tom? A little anthrax in the face and you turn into the biggest pussy!

Chelsea: Ohh that reminds me. Where is the cat?

Lilly: She's the appetizer.

Chelsea: ahhhhhhh.

Max: I don't want to sound rude here, but I thought I smelled burnt cat when I walked in.

(end)

Trollervention

Trollervention

Jack Gorbett

(Scene. An apartment)

Tim opens the door to his apartment to see his girlfriend, dad, mother and grandmother sitting on a couch. In front of them is an empty chair with troll dolls encircling it.

Tim: What the?!....

Dad: Tim, please sit....I think. I think it's time we talked.

Tim, looking at his girlfriend Jodi

Tim: Did you? Did you set this up?

Mom: Tim, sweetheart. Please just sit down. We need to speak with you.

Tim confused, sits down in the empty chair.

Tim: Ok, ok, what is this even about? I don't drink. And what's with the dolls? This feels like an intervention.

Jodi: Tim honey, you know that I love you. But the behavior as of late on social media has been rather...harsh. Your incessant need to comment, post and belittle anyone with a viewpoint that doesn't agree with you. Your instigating. Just this morning you left your Facebook account open for me to see that you were fat shaming  a ten year old Girl scout troop downtown...The, the conspiracy theories of how Flint water supply is just flavored,  Obama's secret Muslim brotherhood stories....Trump, the next FDR....It's just..

Tim's dad interrupts her.

Dad: She means to say you're turning into a troll son!

Tim's Mom looks shocked at her husband's rude interruption

Mom: What do you know about trolls?

Dad: I married one!

Tim's mother has a staff, cloak and troll arms ears and nose now. Her demeanor is loving.

Tim: Whoa, whoa whoa whoa. Back off ok! I'm allowed to have an opinion on something mother!

My facts matter!

Jodi: Tim, honey calm down. Your mother didn't say anything to you just now. I did. Look, you know I love you in this real world, so why can't you just return it. Put the social media down. You're turning into someone I didn't fall in love with.

Cut to Tim with troll staff and cloak on. He's not angry, but sounds like a troll would.

Tim: With all due respect to your guys feelings. I disagree with you idiots. I can't help that when I'm in a political disagreement with complete strangers that I get animated with my facts. It's my first amendment right you see?

Mom: Tim, sweetie do you hear what you sound like now? What you look like to those around you?

Cut back to Tim with troll staff, cloak, and now troll arms.

Tim: You guys act like I'm a troll all the time! I work full time. I don't have time to do these things!

Dad: Well son you have your cell phone out in your left hand. You mean to tell me you're not trolling the internet now?

Tim staff in one hand, cell phone in the other is commenting on a Facebook thread speaking out loud to himself:

Tim: Ha! That's what a so called '9/11' truth denier would say! Read a book buddy!

Jodi: Please don't take this the wrong way honey, we love you and are here for you. We know you've been stressed out at work and are just worried and concerned for your wellbeing. I know you're a beautiful man, with a beautiful heart.......

Jodi is interrupted by an angry Tim who is now a full troll. (ears, nose, staff, cloak, arms) He stands up angrily.

Tim: Arrrgh! This is preposterous! I can't even stomach you people anymore! I need to get out of here! Arrrgh!

Tim angrily walks through the wall of his tiny apartment. Dad looks at Jodi

Dad: Well your plan didn't seem to work.

Mom, still dressed as full on troll.

Mom: Oh you hush! Christ, I wonder where he got it from! And you!

Mom looks at grandma, her mother, silently nodding next to her.

Mom: What! You're just going to sit idly by and be quiet the entire time mother?!

Grandma: What?! What do you want from me?! I saw the dolls, I thought he was gay.

We pan out to see a small series of apartments that are under a bridge in a city with a sign that reads "Reality: Population 'Non-existent'

(end)

Smile For the Press

Smile For the Press

characters

President Obama

President-Elect Trump

MLK's Bust

Little boy

Little girl

Children

REPORTERS

Phil Smiley

Lisa Donahue

Jorge Gonzalez

Michelle Obama

Dog

Smile For the Press

(Scene. White House Roosevelt Room. President Obama next to President-elect Trump, sitting.)

Obama: And that is why we should be grateful that America is one of the few beacon of lights in our world , in her shinning example, that the peaceful transfer of power must be our example for democracy itself ....
Martin Luther King Jr Bust: What the fu--?!
President looks over at president-elect Trump
Obama: Fun. Fun times. And so Mr. President-elect I want to extend my congratulations to you and to offer you the easiest transition possible moving forward. Thanks everybody...
Lightbulbs flash as the both men shake hands. Press people are shouting. 
Obama: No questions everybody. No questions. Thank you.
Obama saying inaudible conversation to someone off stage
Obama: A few? (agitated) Ok, I'm told we have to field a few. Lets get this over with people.
Press corp shouting.
Phil Smiley: Mr. President! Mr. President! Phil Smiley with 'Your acting is Oscar Worthy News.' President Elect Obama said this about POW John McCain who you ran against in 2008.....
(Cut to cute little 3 year old boy quoting Donald Trump)
Little boy: “He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”
(Cut back to Phil)
Phil Smiley: My question Mr. President is, given the climate at the time of you running for president in 2008, if you would have said that about your then opponent senator McCain, what do you think your chances would have been to A.) avoid being shot  and B) become President of the United States?
(Obama has ripped the arms off the chair he's sitting in but is trying to remain calm)
Obama: Nooo comment!
(Press hollering)
Lisa Donahue: Mr. President! Mr. President! Lisa Donahue with  ::singing: '99 Bottles of beer on the wall 99 bottles of beer! We took them down, elected this clown, 98 bottles of beer on the wall' ::somber:: News.' My question is President-Elect Trump said this regarding women, your comments?
(Cut to cute little 3 year old girl quoting Donald Trump)
Little Girl: “You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."

(Obama  looks shocked and is moving his eyes left and right in a 'you have to be kidding me' kind of way. His looks forces painting behind him and the bust of MLK to blow up)

Obama: Nooo comment!

(Press hollering)

Jorge Gonzalez: Mr. President! Mr. President! Jorge Gonzalez with ::Jorge just stares at Obama for six long seconds in the most shocking manner:: News. My question is quite simple. Given what President-Elect Trump has said about immigrants, building a wall, deporting upwards of 3 million people, and equating Mexicans as rapists...uhhhh...What the fuck man?!

(Obama stares blankly in the distance)

Obama:  Noo comment!

(Michelle Obama is holding a vicious Doberman pincher with a tag that says 'comment' on its leash)

Michelle: Try defending against THIS comment.

Obama: Comment, comment Nooo!

Michelle unleashes comment the Doberman pinscher and it immediately tackles Trump and licks his face rapidly.

Donald Trump: hahahahha. Oh, that's a good boy. That's a good boy. Ha,ha it tickles!

Press corp taking pictures

Press Corp (together): AWWWWWWWWW!

(Obama has the look of 'I give up')

Obama: I'm Muslim by the way.

Press Corp (together): DUHHHHHH

(END)

Yet To Be: Farewell EP to Thick as Thieves

If you want to be that cool friend who gets your rock n roll friend that perfect holiday gift look no further..



.YET TO BE.....

(Before I proceed with this, I guess you can call it a review, I have a confession to make. I usually don't like music reviews. Just like I don't like Seattle drivers going UNDER the posted speed limit.)

“It’s 60 MPH Seattle 12’s, it’s not asking you to go 12 below the posted limit!”)

Sorry. That's not the confession.

I had the pleasure of knowing  the guitar player for the Emerald Cities’ new exciting rock n’ roll band Yet to Be for a year as he was our neighbor.

It’s Yet to Be determined if he will accept by Facebook friend request but hey, it’s early.

(Ok, I’m allowed one pun)

I digress. I like rock n' roll. I consider myself a jazz man with a blues heart. It's the Cleveland, Ohio in me.

Three years ago my wife and I moved into our Redmond, Wa apartment complex only to meet are affable, gregarious, fun loving neighbor Brett who told us he was in a band. Cool I thought internally. It's the Seattle area I spoke to myself, who isn't? (My naïve Midwest sensibilities got the best of me)

"What do you do?" he asked.

"Security, and on the side stand up comedian."

"Huh, I'm sorry to hear that."

We went our separate ways and truly are friends and so he sends me his band’s page. I haven't seen Brett in almost two years now.  Wow, I certainly have heard him though.

To me this is what I thought upon first listen of this fresh EP that had me aghast that Seattle created this and that  the ever grey rain DOES have a purpose.  I wrote in my notebook after the first listen through:

Yet to Be might yet to be famous (I'm so funny),  but if you can imagine for a minute a young Muddy Waters deciding to take a great hit of Incu-Can-abis (Incubus) then imagine the possibilities of what's Yet To Be can be and is: Bringing a rock n roll that EVERYONE can fall in love with. Got Blues? Check Got Classic rock? Check Prog rock roots? Check Jazz? Check. Oh and quite frankly, do they rock? Check.

I went back this past month to give their debut EP another listen and listen and listen. Here’s what I discovered from their Farewell EP. (Fitting title considering this band isn’t saying goodbye but putting it ‘all on the line’.)

1.)    Think and Breathe- Yet To Be’s EP starts with a guitar progression that Television’s Tom Verlaine via Marquee Moon would be proud of. The rhythm section of bass player  Stevie Nix Nicholson and drummer William Richards comes in with a shuffle following a croon so on point with lyrics that, well, (read the title). Singer Samuel Shaefer can breathe, and sing.  An ever so placed drum fill by Richards introduces an almost Johnny Cash session guitarist like break by guitarist Brett Hulet . A true opening track that leaves the listener asking what’s this band been through? The blues. The band sounds tight. You can tell they’ve played their instruments before. I can't tell by listening whether they are saying 'farewell' to an old sound, or goodbye to trying to be anything but themselves.

It's not Ginger Baker of Cream it's William Richards. I think it's him.

Cat can play.

2.)    Feed the Fire- The title of this track again is on point to what the music shows us from a band that wants everyone who loves rock n roll to know what’s up. Feed the Fire starts off to me like Metallica when they had balls and weren’t trying to be the San Francisco Orchestra (love you!) Richards hits his crash symbols and snare the same way Shaefer hits the notes that give rock n roll euphoria to every kid who knows the back stage bliss. I’m not sure if Shaefer is any relation to the Canadian band leader but like the famous Paul one, I’m now bald from his vocality to rock my hair off. A guitar and bass solo together? Who told this band they can be both Miles Davis, Incubus, the Stooges, and 70’s soul garage band in one song!? Hulet and Stevie Nix (Sounds like an attorney group (if lawyers rocked like this they wouldn’t have a bad name) play off each other finding the rhythm and giving up their peace offering to the gods of rock n’ roll.  

3.)    The River- Let me go down this one on a canoe that doesn’t need paddles but rather just care free worries and thoughts. So begins my mind as it sounds as if Guns N’ Roses Use Your Illusion meets the Foo Fighters meets, I don’t even know. Just listen to it and be transported ‘by the river.’ Perhaps Matt Foley, Chris Farley’s motivational speaker will be there to great you as it did my third eye thinking about what this song aspires to accomplish: Refection and redemption. The underdog of tight musicianship is the feel of Richards and Stevie Nix keeping it in check as the guitar works in and out of solos and rhythm. This is a river that gives it all. Pain, joy, suffering and good ole’ rock in roll. The 70’s Allman Brothers just exploded out of Seattle kids and met Mother Love Bone and early Pearl Jam! The vocals have a call and response with the rest of the band that makes you want to check your GPS to find this river. A guitar that screams for understanding, and a band that's pleading with you to meet them (you don't have to be thrice divorced) at this river. Honestly this song made me think of my childhood back in North East Ohio near the Cuyahoga River. That river, like this song caught on fire!

Brett Hulet ripping into a gut wrenching solo

4.)     Dice- At first listen I thought to myself this is a hidden of a gem Rolling Stones from the Some Girls LP. We have piano? We have reggae? Here the band brings in session player  Brent Henderson, who does a marvelous job show casing skill, restraint, and blend with the rest of the band. Moving his fingers like he didn’t forget his Seattle coffee order, Henderson, doing his best Herbie Hancock, goes up and down the piano with such grace.  Hulet gives  Bob Marley’s guitar an indie rock feel. Are you Feeling Kind of Blue, chest deep in Muddy Waters? So What! (jazz and blues references kids) Listen to Dice.

Smoothe.

Unlike the Stones, this song isn’t Tumbling Dice, but rather a dice that tells you to go for it. It knows where it’s going even if it doesn’t know.  The jazz, slightly funky rock blend here is precise. The Rhythm of all four members plays beautifully in synched with each other. It’s Yet to Be determined (ok I lied two puns) if these guys are secretly talking with Miles Davis in rock n roll heaven about what he would sound like if he wanted to add guitars and vocals but I’m keeping an eye on them! As should you. “You got to roll the dice, lay it on the line.” Luckily, I can press play and lay down on the ground; to enjoy this track. **Also when a band gives the bass player and drummer a funky spot in a song to show his skill, they kind of rock, soooooo**) Shaefer, Hulet, Stevie Nix, Richards and Henderson all blend with elegance. You can hear the fun and playfulness of the group in this track. Pretentiousness is something this band couldn't have if they tried. They come across like the Pixies, Bare Naked Ladies, Miles Davis and whatever band is Yet To Be (Ok, last pun I swear to God!)

5.)    Pull the Pin- What happens when you pull the pin? You hear the explosion that is this Farewell EP coming to life how they started this trip; with a bang!

This Mariner bobbled head wants you to 'think and breathe'

If there’s a theme with YET TO BE it’s you have to give life a chance even if you don’t know. Because the truth is you don’t. None of us do. Pull the Pin. Roll the Dice. Feed your fire, your desire. Reflect in your ‘river’ of all the mud, sweat, tears, laughter.

I give this EP a resounding 4.5 John Bonham fills out of 5. Why not perfect? Because it’s not a full length LP. That’s right, I want more.

Be on the lookout Seattle (and America) for this greater Seattle area band as they look to bring back the Wizard of rock n roll’ possibility to the Emerald City.  It’s a rock n roll that we ALL can enjoy.

Guilty party of musicians:
Samuel Shaefer (vocals)
Brett Hulet (Lead guitar, guitars and background vocals)
Stevie Nix (bass player, background vocals)
William Richards (drums)

Be on the lookout for Yet To Be's debut full length album 'Thick as Thieves' due out December 27th!

Search Yet To Be on Facebook

Seattle, if you want to check out YET TO BE here is a LIVE DATE coming up

--

Friday, November 25 at 6:30 PM - 9:30 PM at EL Corazon. Seattle

DOORS: 6:00 PM / SHOW: 6:30 PM
EL CORAZON
THIS EVENT IS ALL AGES
TICKETS $8.00 - $10.00

It's Holiday Season. It's the gift that keeps on giving. ROCK n ROLL

November Rain

"In Northeast Ohio nothing is given, everything is earned"

In Seattle, this would have never of happened. No, I’m not talking about endless traffic to and from work while you’re desperately trying to see if you have enough money in your ‘Good to Go’ account to get into the city with one of two accessible bridges. No, I’m not talking about coffee on discount. I’m talking about a November Rain delay in Game 7 of the World Series in Cleveland.

   Seattle combats baseball rain with a cover!

Cleveland sports fans know that from start to finish the game is never over until the buzzer sounds. Perhaps then in baseball it’s the few sports were there isn’t one.

We count the beats per minute of our pulse as this game had it high, low, and everything Charlie Sheen Tiger blood in between.

We had hope. We had home field. We had our ace Corey Kluber on the mound.  (pronounced CLUE-ber)

He's no Neegan, and all Morgan.

Kluber, who looked like the Dali Lama of emotion who is as calm as a (metaphor for something calm in a hurricane) didn’t have his ‘lights out’ game, but giving up 3 runs on 5 innings pitched isn’t a bad outing necessarily.

The Cubs struck early hitting solo shots into deep center field swinging the bat like they were Deniro in the Untouchables.

Capone would have been impressed with this “Team.”

Capone was Neegan before it was cool.

After tying the game up in the bottom of the eighth inning, outfielder Rajai Davis belted a 2 run  home run to bring the Tribe and Cleveland faithful back from the dead a la Travolta’s needle to Uma Thurman Pulp Fiction style.  (I won’t keep it a secret, Uma survives, Vincent doesn’t)

Excitement filled Cleveland. I saw Lebron Hulk it out. Hey J.R. Smith had his shirt off now more times than 2Pac.

(Speaking of which have you heard his new album?)

I digress.

So to was the outcome last night at Progressive Field, as another curse was broken and Fox didn’t show that celebrities are also fans of sports teams. No, no that can’t be it. The Chicago Cubs won their first World Series since 1908. You know back when America was GREAT AGAIN!

I digress.

Heading into the top of the 9th inning the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame decided to call up the ghost of Axl Rose past and so began the ‘cold November rain.’ The Slash solo began as Ben Zobrist hit a double scoring in Albert Almora giving the Cubs the go ahead lead and they never looked back.

True story, upon seeing the video for November Rain Slash's mom Mrs. Slash called her son,

"Honey you have such a beautiful face, why do you hide it?"

Cubs veteran Jason Heyward told reporters after the game he gathered all the players for a ‘players meeting’ only and regrouped his talented bunch from the north side. It seemed to have worked.

The momentum, if there was any for the Tribe, seemed to be put on pause. Then we watched, and we waited, and waited, until finally the last out came and Cleveland’s hope for 2/3 of the sports Hat Trick was not to be.

This loss however,  honestly felt different to me. The irony of Cleveland winning its first Championship earlier in June on the backs of Lebron and company coming back from a 3-1 deficit only to see another Championship (droughted)*(not a word)  team do the same is bittersweet.

Have you ever talked to a loyal Cubs fan? It’s like talking to a Browns fan with their knowledge and love for the game. Only difference is at the end of the day a Cubs fan’s neck isn’t strained from the constant bowing of the head.

"Wait. Wait. Wait I. I'm sorry. I'm watching the Browns, I...."

What a run. What a year. What a year in Cleveland sports!

You can’t really fault a fan base if you’re a Clevelander, watching those loyal Cubs fans who have waited years to witness this. To give it some perspective, Bill Murray was 5 last time the Cubs won it all.

Perhaps too it’s also bittersweet that an ‘Indians’ ball club didn’t win, but a Sioux Tribe at Standing Rock, ND might? It has yet to be seen.

It is the year of awareness in Cleveland and across the American landscape. The one thing you can’t say that most Americans aren’t is aware. Now of what we can all argue.

Even for those who don’t usually follow sports I always find baseball to be the sport that brings it home for, well, at least me personally.

Growing up my friends and I played home run derby at our local middle school and when the movie the Sandlot came out I said,

“Hey it’s me!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah!”

 A game 7 for the ages that gave us Tribe fans, Cub fans, and fans of baseball and game 7’s a chance to feel good.

What a series.

  Next week we Americans get to decide or not decide who will be the leader of the free world and so snap, back to reality, ooops there goes gravity. (Ok, knock it off internal Eminem writer!)

  Until we get back to the serious business of who runs our country and protects real Indians and real Cubs, let’s take a moment to hug our inner child of excitement.

Remember, your age is just a number and if you can't see an afterlife?

Harry Carrey doesn't mind