The Kids Can Sleep!

GOT SLEEP?

The Seattle Public school system wants you! To have it.

It caught my attention as I drove  early to work to find (how can I read the paper AND drive?) that this article really caught my ADHD attention and,

Squirrel!!!

I have to admit, my first thought was:

"It's not fair!"

See back in the years 1998-2002 I had to trek from the Northeast Ohio suburbs to the west side of Cleveland, Ohio for a 7:45am start time and take into account the morning traffic, getting ready, and eating something that represented a John Belushi of champions breakfast. But I had it easy. Cleveland traffic is only traffic because back then (don't know the condition now) the only obstacle was the gaping mortar sized pot holes that were sure to put your alignment in tune with Bobcat Goldthwait's uncanny acting.

But then I thought:

"Huh, good for them! The little bastards get to enjoy more rest in the morning."

I have to say my favorite line from this local story has to be the dissent. I'm not being sarcastic either. They make great points, such as:

"Critics say that if school starts later for teens, then they’ll just go to sleep later. Leaders involved with the decision disagree."

No, they're right. As a full functioning adult (most days. Ok, a few days. Give me one ok?!) if I know that I don't have to come in and have an extra hour then sure I'm going to watch that extra episode of Orange Is the New Black on Netflix! Crazy Eyes would approve. I'm sorry............... Suzzane.

Suzzane wants kids to have that extra sleep.

I'm not arguing the decision. Everyone could use more sleep. But lets not kid ourselves here. An extra hour gained means those kids are staying up maybe to do that homework they brushed aside earlier or again to watch that episode of Orange is The New Black. (Catchy theme song! Watch it!) I know I'm not alone as an adult now looking back at my youth. Hell, if I had to come in at 7am to work and not 6am that series of Orange is The New Black would be finished in a week! I'm just saying.

Now people smarter then me will say things like, "Hey asshole, I'm smarter then you!" And they'd be right!

I imagine the school board meeting opened to the public produced the scientists in their lab coats as one takes the stand. (Again I know this isn't a courtroom but just follow the hypnotic tonic that is my imagination.)

"Will the witness please stand and state your name."

"Um, I'm a resident here this is a council meeting I wanted to just speak on behalf of the kids who need sleep?

"Your honor let the records show that my scientist does in fact hold a degree from University of Washington and holds a degree in the sleep science. He was a math major."

"Oh council, good one."

"Am I the only one confused here? I'm a resident. You're city council. What's wrong with you people?"

"I'm sorry, we don't get much sleep."

You can't argue with science. Well you can but you'll look like, well, a lot of people who have run for POTUS?

I know I'm officially old because my second thought after reading this little tid bit of a story was:

"Soooooo, how does this affect morning traffic?"

I have no horse in this game. I make a right out of my apartment, drive maybe 2 miles get off and I'm at work.

Yeah, people here hate me.

'The Others' have to drive on the 405 and the 520 and together they make the 925 accidents that happen all the time due to the '12's' riding that number BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT!

((Calm down, calm down, you don't have a horse in this race))

I'm a concerned tax payer for my fellow Seattle drivers and people who just discovered a car's function; to piss off everyone who moved here from states where speed limit signs are just numbers that mean the temperature for the day.

My hope is that adults everywhere learn from the adults who made it so kids can sleep in (a little).

Ask Keith Richards during the Exile on Main Street album if 8:45 is "SLEEPING IN". It's not.

"Daddy, why is uncle Keith leaning back with his eyes closed?"

"He's uh, asleep, from drinking to much coffee honey.  You ask to many questions. Let's go to school!"

I'd love to hear that Microsoft, Amazon, Starbucks, Boeing (and other highly successful companies that bring everyone and their mothers from all over America to our Oasis (ok I'm officially in!) announce that they are saying to all their salary and hourly employees:

"Look, we were reading studies on very little sleep and so first we apologize. Second, it will no longer be the company board meeting where you doze off. SLEEP IN KIDS!"

There would be so much joy in Seattle I think I may actually see a stranger acknowledge my existence with a polite smile!

"Ok, only because I come into work at 9 will I say 'hello' to you Jack."

People need sleep. 9 out of 10 scientists agree that the one scientist who doesn't agree is a huge douche bag, AND that the average adult needs at least a good 7 hours of sleep. Or to be put another way, that's watching the movie the Titanic twice! Talk about putting you to sleep! (Self five)

In conclusion there was never really an opening to this or a thesis, just a thought:

There's a reason why America (and Seattle especially) runs on Dunkin or Coffee or Hipster clothes.

It's because the people who make the nice things need to be awake, and it should come from our natural body rhythm in tune like an R.E.M. song as we delve deeply into Rapid Eye Movement sleep. Deep in our dreams of love, lust, and luxury.

Instead?

We aren't getting enough sleep and it's these kids fault!

Nah.

We can do better. Maybe that highly caffeinated beverage after dinner was a poor choice. Maybe not?

I don't know. What I do know is that we will see how this works as kids go to school ::gasp:: one hour ::gasp:: later!

The humanity! Or? The sanity.

I'm glad the kids can SLEEP.