Free Lance (writing not Bass from N'SYNC. He's fine, I assure you.) A 206 Day Sober Comedy experience

FREE LANCE COMEDY

A JAZZ WRITING EXPERIENCE

MINUS THE MUSIC

AND FUNNY

AND....OK YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MEAN....

Well, it’s the first of the month again and as we reflect on ¾ of the year being complete let us revisit some of those ‘New Year, New Me’ resolutions that we vowed to take up and complete this year, shall we?

I'm 206 days sober and loving it like Molly Shannon's Licensed Joyologist.

"I give sobriety a lift! And a kick! And a punch! I love it, I love it, I love it!"

Say what you will, if you have made your goals less obtainable or made very few a 75% is a decent C grade. Shall we delve into our hopes and dreams?

We shall not!

Instead let us reflect on the ‘what the heck is this I’m watching on Netflix and reading in the newspaper?’ moment to reflect on how when we reflect we regret that we don’t regret.

Huh?

I vowed to use more run on sentences within my comedy to show that just because an idea has many, many words doesn’t mean we should take the time to stop and slow down a thought just because it is so monumental, so huge, so big that it can’t be contained amongst a series of shorter sentences.

What?

If you also find that you have entirely to much time on your hands at work to type drivel then congrats! You too are suffering from getting paid to write.

But, but that’s not my job!

Hey it’s not mine either but this is where the thoughts take me. That's right, every Thursday I'm blessed to sit behind a desk and read the news and scan badges and drink my coffee and go on and on about the weather to contractors and those Seahawks and what we will do about the Renton S curve.

It gets hard, for others. If I'm on the facebook and there's a green dot next to your name, watch out! I'm messaging you. And I won't stop. I never stop. I'm like the White Walkers, the Zombies in Walking Dead.

Attention! Give me attention!

Reading the facebooks posts and the news feed this morning and early mid day has me reminiscing when I read an actual physical newspaper before we had instant coffee and news. It’s watered down with the bullshit. The new news I’m calling it. And everyone (myself especially) has INSTANT opinion on stuff that we used to have to settle into. We had to talk amongst ourselves without hopefully getting to emotional as the Linda Richman’s in us discussed ‘topics’ like ‘Capitol Hill in Seattle is neither a Capital nor a hill, discuss!’

Or discuss the news. Or lack there of. No matter what you think about anything we can all admit that as soon as the story breaks we have an opinion and it’s so easy to express it. As I complain please know generally that I’m neither a general or a lieutenant. Rather, I fancy myself as a solider of the first amendment (or order) of Star Wars (New Wars).

Lately I’m trying this new thing in which I act like a cautious Sonny from the Godfather who’s going ‘to wait’ before they react to the news.

Don’t get me wrong. GET ME MONEY! And, know that I still have opinions and ideas. But I think I’m going to post positive comedy and Mems with cats and dogs (black and white) to bridge the gap of the ever dividing bullshit as St. George the Carlin would say.

What’s the bullshit?

Not only is it the 1999 and on Cleveland Browns football team but it’s the controversy surrounding Cap or Nic, the election, the elimination of John (some last name) from last season’s The Bachelorette AND the canceling of HBO’s Vinyl.

How will Mick Jaggar's son make money now?!?!?!?!?

The bullshit can also be called the news and any story on it. I may want to get my news to people I talk to on a daily basis now. Excluding of course the 20 or so voices in my  head at any given moment.

What’s that Martha? Well tough luck, I like a little sugar and cream in my 9 oz coffee my dear, just deal!

So what’s new in the comedy world?

Rest in Peace to a soulful giant of a man, actor, and humanitarian Gene Wilder. A funny man no doubt, Gene was there to show us kids how to behave watching him run a sweat shop full of small people making delicious candy.

 

He really showed us the dream. To own and operate a business that exploits the orange people. \

GOOD DAY SIR!

I start to watch the original Wonka and think to myself Trump would have made a terrible Oompa Loompa. For starters, his hands were entirely to small. Secondly and lastly, he would refuse to sing on the grounds that the number didn’t sound right in his pitch. He whines and the Oompas put the ooompf in excitement. Plus the hair. The kids wondering if the factory could be there’s would ask what’s with this little man’s hair piece? It wouldn’t make for a great movie but excellent comedy.

I digress as I undress my thoughts that are dirty, big like Hurley, from Lost. (Oh I have a rap now!)

I write you in the spirit of positivity in that I’m positively 4^th street in my ‘Chillin like Bob Dylan’ phase of my life of keeping the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional as I become a functional person.

I’m 206 days sober. Loving every day of it.

My writing has become more prolific and science to be specific as I live near the pacific, ain’t it terrific to be so simplistic? (OH SNAP AGAIN WITH THE RAPS)

As Led Zeppelin plays the Rain Song and it’s not raining I will be soon raining comedy and hopefully laughter and applause as I get up on the stage at the local 907.

I feel like Eminem at the end of 8 Mile. And Papa Doc is my fear.  

Thanks for being in my corner. And have a Seattle day! Spill your coffee on the leg that hits the gas pedal please.

Much Love

Action Jackson