Sobriety (Because you can't spell sobriety without 'brie', a soft cow's milk cheese......mmmmmmmmm)

Me at a John Lennon/Yoko Ono art gallery in the Amsterdam Hilton in (surprise, surprise) Amsterdam.

2007?

SOBRIETY
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam (Look I know Latin!)

(The following words that proceed these tiny words are what was suppose to be my set list for my second ever stand up routine  but ended being scrapped in favor of my impromptu ramblings on of how Cleveland Sports are the best thing ever to have happened to the city of Cleveland and perhaps the world.

And I'm sober.

Some things are better tried when learned, and rehearsed and not done two days beforehand with no coffee. I decided to scrap this altogether and perhaps at 500 days I'll rework it in.  As is with stand up. Practice. Practice. Practice. The following words that proceed these words are so tiny that if you can read this congratulations you don't need glasses.) 

This is for anyone struggling with addiction. If you can read this. I'm always (**always subject to terms and conditions of hour in the day**) here to listen and offer an ear. Not this comedy (Yeah....comedy....that's what we will call it) .

My sobriety story.

What a title huh? Nothing reals em' in more like talking about how you decided to no longer be the life of the party but rather the punter of the football team. That's right. Make fun of the designated driver all you want but someone has to keep you safe and give you better field position or in the real case, safe your drunk ass! Sometimes on fourth and two more beers you have to just stop and consider the special teams. My problem was always that nine out of the ten or so  times I did bring on the field goal unit or kicker to 'pass' the night away, but that one time. That one time could be disastrous. And I had so many 'one times'.  My playbook was never fully prudent, although I always had the tools at my disposal.  Does anyone here remember the end of Superbowl 49?  

Respect the punter. Be more like the punter.

Be Jon Ryan.

I'm 227 days sober today. (thank you, thank you) That's right. 227 days without having any friends. I'm of course kidding. I didn't have friends before the 227 days it's just a little mantra I'm telling my inner child to continue the discourse to stay on course. That's to be myself, in the moment, and not to find alternate realities, but to safely find alternate routes on my GPS of how I can get somewhere 5 minutes slower?! Thanks GPS. You have the mindset of me driving to my first ever date as a 16 year old pimply nervous wreck.

GPS VOICE: "Jack are you sure you want to pick her up now? I have a route that's 6 minutes slower if you want to reconsider this?

I digress.

No I have friends. Rather, I have people in life that support my decisions to better myself. I fancy myself feeling in sobriety the same way a young Kurt Cobain might have when he penned the song lithium knowing full well that his friends are in his head, and I feel you Kurt. I have about twenty one friends in my head and at times they can tell me,

"Yeah, yeah yeah, congratulations on sobriety but just one wouldn't kill you would it?"

Well........

Only with alcohol would mainstream America allow for 'just one.' No normal Joe or Jane going to a Sounders game thinks to themselves and says to others,

"Ok honey, I have the sandwiches packed, the baby is with your Mom and Dad. Am I forgetting anything?"

"Honey want a quick fix of this Peruvian black tar heroin?"

"Jeff! Twist my arm! One sec, let me get the syringe from the baby's cabinet."

But with alcohol it's an entirely different conversation. One that, for me, just one can turn into just one more, and just one more, and one more, and one more, and one more.............But it's ok. I have everything under control.

Yeah, like me telling my college counselor year six of getting my associates degree,

"Hey, hey...I know you have your 'masters and PHD and all' but....relax.... I GOT THIS."

I'm from Northeast Ohio and grew up not far from where A.A was founded, Akron.

True Fact: The house where AA was founded in Akron has 12 steps leading up to it

Akron is an interesting place when I consider the act of drinking. Some of us are like Akron native Lebron James when we drink; we become exciting, exotic, we are in a Trainwreck, and can play basketball? No.No.No. I mean we are in control?

Still, other's are like Akron native (Bath to be specific but hey it's practically the rural side of Akron)  Jeffrey Dahmer when we drink; We are completely out of control. We eat our friends as we become a notorious serial killer. And we become a recluse living in Milwakuee and probably drinking the 'beast' as the beast inside of us grows and grows.

"I'm sorry Captain Crunch, you taste so delicious!"

And while not in the program personally I respect AA and those who find guidance in it. It's a great program for those who use it and need it.

A great place to start

To me though, it's not for me because AA has steps. I'm more of an elevator guy.

My problem is that as someone who starts off on the ground level of their sobriety and wants to go higher into it (like Sly and the Family Stone), my elevator technician was nowhere to be found.

**Entering Elevator**

**Elevator robot voice**

"Welcome. Choose floor please."

**Pushing Floor 1**

**Elevator robot voice**

"Garage Level. Thank you."

Me: " No, I wanted floor one of sobriety please."

**Elevator robot voice**

"Garage Level. You will ignore your own judgment and prudence you were taught and opt for dancing on bars heavily intoxicated and confusing joviality with being an asshole. You may be asked to leave said bars and get out of two DUI's sobering up to police officers that have pulled you over. Take all the time on this floor to learn."

Me: "Ok, I'm getting a little impatient here. Can we get this fixed. Floor 1 please!"

**Pushing Floor 1. Doors close**

Elevator Voice: "P1 level"

Me: "Oh Christ. Again?"

Elevator Voice: "P1 Level. You will not learn from four years of random acts of drinking heavily and finally come to terms as 400 feet from your home you will decide, "Sure, lets shake the cop behind us in a small rural community" as you get arrested for a DUI. You may also pee your pants while in the back of a cruiser quoting the Declaration of Independence. "I hold this truth to be self evident. That you should reconsider your behavior, actions and shut the F floor up when speaking."

Me: "You know, for an elevator robot voice you sure say a lot. FIRST FLOOR PLEASE."

**Pushing Floor 1 obsessively**

Elevator Voice: "P2 level. P2 Level. Here you will be randomly shot by an East Cleveland Gang after a night of drinking. While not caused directly by your drinking you will, in an attempt to 'keep the buzz alive' not end the night at 1am. No. That would be to Amish. And you're not Amish are you? Of course not. You can't build good homes."

Me:" Ok! Ok! I get it."

Elevator Voice: "Do you? P3 Level....."

You get the point.

So I quit. Cold turkey. I know I can do it. I'm in the best mind set that I've ever been in my life and have a great support team.

I gave it an end when Peyton Manning called it a career. That's right. The day after Superbowl 50. I decided when Peyton Manning said he was going to have a bud light after winning his second Superbowl to pack it in and consider sobriety as a serious option here.

Hey I may even consider doing commericals now to and make some extra income.

**HUMMING COMMERCIAL**

"Nation Wide is on your side. Nothing beats that new car smell. Not drinking anymore alleviates many fears, that of which is when I'm driving at night I no longer fear police. I'm just kidding I know I'm white....ba da da da da da da."

February 8, 2016 is my start date. My rebirth if you will.

I like that I have an application on my phone that shows me the date of when I started my sobriety. But it doesn't stop there. It proceeds to tell me the weeks, months, years ahead. Not enough for me to remember? I'm in luck. It will show me hours, minutes and seconds.

Currently as I write this I've been 19,636,757 seconds free of booze.....758,759,760........

I feel college bros created this app as a way to have fun with their 'weekend sobriety' as they take it as seriously as those 'alleged rape' allegations that were so frosh year for them.

For the record not suggesting 'GRONK' raped anybody but does anyone doubt this guy isn't a bro? I wish he was on the Browns. Of course, I wish anyone other then the Browns were on the Browns.

"Brah,  let's just wait a week if we can because pretty soon we can have it at 666 hours and screen grab it and it will be like the sign of the devil brah!"

Passerby says:

"You guys know that 666 hours translates to almost 28 days right? That's 4 weeks."

"Shut up you PUNTER!"

I'm glad I've found the fun in being a punter. Of being on the team of life and not needing to no longer 'score' or create 'fantasy points.' The punter has a long career and gets paid a livable wage. There's nothing wrong with punting the ball. There's absolutely nothing wrong with considering a sober lifestyle. And it's not boring. It's anything but. The punter is the most important player on the football team and the smartest. He (or she) will almost never have a concussion and if they do, it's because the offensive line couldn't hold their liquor! We need more punters in this world. Somebody has to be able to punt supplies over the wall during the pending Zombie Apocalypse to other camps. I've given this thought and once the bullets and guns run out

(Jack, Jack this is AMERICA they will never RUN OUT!)

True. But a swift kick in the face by a Punter will help you out. Or for me, buckshot penetrating my upper torso wasn't even enough of a swift kick.

I had to consider myself. My well being. My best self. My family. And most of all my wife and baby.

I wish everyone my love as they pursue their goals or pathways to sobriety. In the meantime I will consider the life of Ray Guy.

Ray Guy. First Punter inducted into Canton.

(Because they're all drunk in Canton and if he can do it, there's hope for us all)

"Today's the day"-Rodman

To my cool older cousin (I have a lot of those on both sides of the family) Brian Hess for showing me at the earliest of ages that being sober is cool. He's the epitome of it.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
(Some Jesuit talk)

The Kids Can Sleep!

GOT SLEEP?

The Seattle Public school system wants you! To have it.

It caught my attention as I drove  early to work to find (how can I read the paper AND drive?) that this article really caught my ADHD attention and,

Squirrel!!!

I have to admit, my first thought was:

"It's not fair!"

See back in the years 1998-2002 I had to trek from the Northeast Ohio suburbs to the west side of Cleveland, Ohio for a 7:45am start time and take into account the morning traffic, getting ready, and eating something that represented a John Belushi of champions breakfast. But I had it easy. Cleveland traffic is only traffic because back then (don't know the condition now) the only obstacle was the gaping mortar sized pot holes that were sure to put your alignment in tune with Bobcat Goldthwait's uncanny acting.

But then I thought:

"Huh, good for them! The little bastards get to enjoy more rest in the morning."

I have to say my favorite line from this local story has to be the dissent. I'm not being sarcastic either. They make great points, such as:

"Critics say that if school starts later for teens, then they’ll just go to sleep later. Leaders involved with the decision disagree."

No, they're right. As a full functioning adult (most days. Ok, a few days. Give me one ok?!) if I know that I don't have to come in and have an extra hour then sure I'm going to watch that extra episode of Orange Is the New Black on Netflix! Crazy Eyes would approve. I'm sorry............... Suzzane.

Suzzane wants kids to have that extra sleep.

I'm not arguing the decision. Everyone could use more sleep. But lets not kid ourselves here. An extra hour gained means those kids are staying up maybe to do that homework they brushed aside earlier or again to watch that episode of Orange is The New Black. (Catchy theme song! Watch it!) I know I'm not alone as an adult now looking back at my youth. Hell, if I had to come in at 7am to work and not 6am that series of Orange is The New Black would be finished in a week! I'm just saying.

Now people smarter then me will say things like, "Hey asshole, I'm smarter then you!" And they'd be right!

I imagine the school board meeting opened to the public produced the scientists in their lab coats as one takes the stand. (Again I know this isn't a courtroom but just follow the hypnotic tonic that is my imagination.)

"Will the witness please stand and state your name."

"Um, I'm a resident here this is a council meeting I wanted to just speak on behalf of the kids who need sleep?

"Your honor let the records show that my scientist does in fact hold a degree from University of Washington and holds a degree in the sleep science. He was a math major."

"Oh council, good one."

"Am I the only one confused here? I'm a resident. You're city council. What's wrong with you people?"

"I'm sorry, we don't get much sleep."

You can't argue with science. Well you can but you'll look like, well, a lot of people who have run for POTUS?

I know I'm officially old because my second thought after reading this little tid bit of a story was:

"Soooooo, how does this affect morning traffic?"

I have no horse in this game. I make a right out of my apartment, drive maybe 2 miles get off and I'm at work.

Yeah, people here hate me.

'The Others' have to drive on the 405 and the 520 and together they make the 925 accidents that happen all the time due to the '12's' riding that number BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT!

((Calm down, calm down, you don't have a horse in this race))

I'm a concerned tax payer for my fellow Seattle drivers and people who just discovered a car's function; to piss off everyone who moved here from states where speed limit signs are just numbers that mean the temperature for the day.

My hope is that adults everywhere learn from the adults who made it so kids can sleep in (a little).

Ask Keith Richards during the Exile on Main Street album if 8:45 is "SLEEPING IN". It's not.

"Daddy, why is uncle Keith leaning back with his eyes closed?"

"He's uh, asleep, from drinking to much coffee honey.  You ask to many questions. Let's go to school!"

I'd love to hear that Microsoft, Amazon, Starbucks, Boeing (and other highly successful companies that bring everyone and their mothers from all over America to our Oasis (ok I'm officially in!) announce that they are saying to all their salary and hourly employees:

"Look, we were reading studies on very little sleep and so first we apologize. Second, it will no longer be the company board meeting where you doze off. SLEEP IN KIDS!"

There would be so much joy in Seattle I think I may actually see a stranger acknowledge my existence with a polite smile!

"Ok, only because I come into work at 9 will I say 'hello' to you Jack."

People need sleep. 9 out of 10 scientists agree that the one scientist who doesn't agree is a huge douche bag, AND that the average adult needs at least a good 7 hours of sleep. Or to be put another way, that's watching the movie the Titanic twice! Talk about putting you to sleep! (Self five)

In conclusion there was never really an opening to this or a thesis, just a thought:

There's a reason why America (and Seattle especially) runs on Dunkin or Coffee or Hipster clothes.

It's because the people who make the nice things need to be awake, and it should come from our natural body rhythm in tune like an R.E.M. song as we delve deeply into Rapid Eye Movement sleep. Deep in our dreams of love, lust, and luxury.

Instead?

We aren't getting enough sleep and it's these kids fault!

Nah.

We can do better. Maybe that highly caffeinated beverage after dinner was a poor choice. Maybe not?

I don't know. What I do know is that we will see how this works as kids go to school ::gasp:: one hour ::gasp:: later!

The humanity! Or? The sanity.

I'm glad the kids can SLEEP.

Free Lance (writing not Bass from N'SYNC. He's fine, I assure you.) A 206 Day Sober Comedy experience

FREE LANCE COMEDY

A JAZZ WRITING EXPERIENCE

MINUS THE MUSIC

AND FUNNY

AND....OK YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MEAN....

Well, it’s the first of the month again and as we reflect on ¾ of the year being complete let us revisit some of those ‘New Year, New Me’ resolutions that we vowed to take up and complete this year, shall we?

I'm 206 days sober and loving it like Molly Shannon's Licensed Joyologist.

"I give sobriety a lift! And a kick! And a punch! I love it, I love it, I love it!"

Say what you will, if you have made your goals less obtainable or made very few a 75% is a decent C grade. Shall we delve into our hopes and dreams?

We shall not!

Instead let us reflect on the ‘what the heck is this I’m watching on Netflix and reading in the newspaper?’ moment to reflect on how when we reflect we regret that we don’t regret.

Huh?

I vowed to use more run on sentences within my comedy to show that just because an idea has many, many words doesn’t mean we should take the time to stop and slow down a thought just because it is so monumental, so huge, so big that it can’t be contained amongst a series of shorter sentences.

What?

If you also find that you have entirely to much time on your hands at work to type drivel then congrats! You too are suffering from getting paid to write.

But, but that’s not my job!

Hey it’s not mine either but this is where the thoughts take me. That's right, every Thursday I'm blessed to sit behind a desk and read the news and scan badges and drink my coffee and go on and on about the weather to contractors and those Seahawks and what we will do about the Renton S curve.

It gets hard, for others. If I'm on the facebook and there's a green dot next to your name, watch out! I'm messaging you. And I won't stop. I never stop. I'm like the White Walkers, the Zombies in Walking Dead.

Attention! Give me attention!

Reading the facebooks posts and the news feed this morning and early mid day has me reminiscing when I read an actual physical newspaper before we had instant coffee and news. It’s watered down with the bullshit. The new news I’m calling it. And everyone (myself especially) has INSTANT opinion on stuff that we used to have to settle into. We had to talk amongst ourselves without hopefully getting to emotional as the Linda Richman’s in us discussed ‘topics’ like ‘Capitol Hill in Seattle is neither a Capital nor a hill, discuss!’

Or discuss the news. Or lack there of. No matter what you think about anything we can all admit that as soon as the story breaks we have an opinion and it’s so easy to express it. As I complain please know generally that I’m neither a general or a lieutenant. Rather, I fancy myself as a solider of the first amendment (or order) of Star Wars (New Wars).

Lately I’m trying this new thing in which I act like a cautious Sonny from the Godfather who’s going ‘to wait’ before they react to the news.

Don’t get me wrong. GET ME MONEY! And, know that I still have opinions and ideas. But I think I’m going to post positive comedy and Mems with cats and dogs (black and white) to bridge the gap of the ever dividing bullshit as St. George the Carlin would say.

What’s the bullshit?

Not only is it the 1999 and on Cleveland Browns football team but it’s the controversy surrounding Cap or Nic, the election, the elimination of John (some last name) from last season’s The Bachelorette AND the canceling of HBO’s Vinyl.

How will Mick Jaggar's son make money now?!?!?!?!?

The bullshit can also be called the news and any story on it. I may want to get my news to people I talk to on a daily basis now. Excluding of course the 20 or so voices in my  head at any given moment.

What’s that Martha? Well tough luck, I like a little sugar and cream in my 9 oz coffee my dear, just deal!

So what’s new in the comedy world?

Rest in Peace to a soulful giant of a man, actor, and humanitarian Gene Wilder. A funny man no doubt, Gene was there to show us kids how to behave watching him run a sweat shop full of small people making delicious candy.

 

He really showed us the dream. To own and operate a business that exploits the orange people. \

GOOD DAY SIR!

I start to watch the original Wonka and think to myself Trump would have made a terrible Oompa Loompa. For starters, his hands were entirely to small. Secondly and lastly, he would refuse to sing on the grounds that the number didn’t sound right in his pitch. He whines and the Oompas put the ooompf in excitement. Plus the hair. The kids wondering if the factory could be there’s would ask what’s with this little man’s hair piece? It wouldn’t make for a great movie but excellent comedy.

I digress as I undress my thoughts that are dirty, big like Hurley, from Lost. (Oh I have a rap now!)

I write you in the spirit of positivity in that I’m positively 4^th street in my ‘Chillin like Bob Dylan’ phase of my life of keeping the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional as I become a functional person.

I’m 206 days sober. Loving every day of it.

My writing has become more prolific and science to be specific as I live near the pacific, ain’t it terrific to be so simplistic? (OH SNAP AGAIN WITH THE RAPS)

As Led Zeppelin plays the Rain Song and it’s not raining I will be soon raining comedy and hopefully laughter and applause as I get up on the stage at the local 907.

I feel like Eminem at the end of 8 Mile. And Papa Doc is my fear.  

Thanks for being in my corner. And have a Seattle day! Spill your coffee on the leg that hits the gas pedal please.

Much Love

Action Jackson

Seattle Task Force Takes Homelessness Cleanup To Task. (In unrelated news Gun lobby takes gun related deaths to shooting range)

What homeless problem?

"Searching for a way to clean up Seattle's homeless camps with consistency and compassion.  That's the challenge posed to a new task force that met for the first time Wednesday at city hall."

I read the news today 'oh boy'!

Seattle's task force on homeless encampment cleanup meets for first time

So reads my headline as I read the paper arriving to work this morning. Like Denzel Washington's character Alonzo said in the action packed drama Training Day,

"You see this paper?! It's 99% bullshit. But I read it. Because it's entertaining. You won't let me read it. So you. You tell me a story!"

I've been more fascinated with words and word's structures to be more accurate lately. Writing about comedy lately has found me reading and hearing the news for inspiration. And if you have a pulse and you can read, first off congrats to you. And second, you know there's more entertainment in news these days then, well, news.

 We often take sentences such as the one I have bold faced, for granted.

Imagine if you will that you're an alien from another planet. You and the other Alfs have gathered up all the information that humans have accumulated over our relatively short history in the Cosmos. Now imagine if you will that after a long day of traveling you meet with the Seattle task force to discuss the 'homeless problem' with your own alien logic:

"Uh I have an idea. Why don't we make the home LESS more HOUSES?"

**Laughter**

Oh illegals. Can we make the wall high enough to counteract such radical ideas. Imagine another foreign alien joins this group. This alien comes from the many galaxies these aliens have inhabited. The mayor of Empathyville gets up and talks to the members of the task force:

"You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." 

Oh Jesus Christ buddy.

So Seattle is going to tackle the homeless problem by meeting once a week with a task force. A task force sounds official. It sounds like they're going to get things done! I imagine the mayor and his ideologues are in riot gear equipped with house deeds and food and clothing breaking down the encampments:

"THIS IS A RAID! EVERYONE UP! YOU"VE BEEN CHOSEN TO HAVE A HOME! GET UP! GET UP! THIS HOMELESS SHIT ENDS NOW! YOU! YOU! GET UP! WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

"I um, I lost my job and me and my kid we..."

"ENOUGH OF THIS! YOU NEED SHELTER. HERE'S A NICE HOME UP ON QUEEN ANNE! GO, GO, GO. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AFFORDABLE HOUSING. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO A LIVING WAGE. IF ONE IS NOT PROVIDED TO YOU THE STATE WILL FIND A WAY!"

Homeless? It's our 'task' to 'force' you out of it!

Huh?!

Now look, I hate to be cynical, I prefer biblical, but I googled 'task force' just to make sure it wasn't the definition I thought it was: "A group of adults telling children learning about responsibility what's up."

I was wrong.

Task Force according to God errr Google says, " a group designed to work on a single defined task or activity."

Enter homelessness. Well, not into a home rather, but in a structure to discuss how to make people home owners?

Not exactly.

They say behind every cynic is a dreamer with a glimmer of hope and light to possibility. I'm trying to pour gasoline on that light. And for me personally the light shines a lot brighter then my fellow 'it's all bullshit' compadres.

I read further into this 'story.'

Seattle mayor Ed Murray constructed the task force to meet once a week.

Ok, there's a start. But wait, with a deadline?

They've been given until the end of September to come up with a recommended list of protocols and policies on exactly how the city should go about cleaning up homeless encampments throughout Seattle.

Yes hi, I have a question. Over here. Hi. I know I haven't been here that long but what happens after the month is over?

"Sir, hi. I don't think you know what we are discussing. Mr. Mayor care to take this question?"

"Yes, hi. So we are talking about compassion in how we CLEAN UP the encampments. You can direct that question to Mr. and Mrs. Backburner who field this question daily. You're talking about homes here. We are talking about being civil people to clean these people out."

"It is our responsibility to ensure these cleanups are done right and done in a way that serves the needs of people living in these areas who are enduring extremely difficult circumstances," he said in a statement on August 19th, "We recognize the protocol under which cleanups are conducted needs both improvement and clarity."

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I see. Cleaning up the homeless! Not offering what they're less at. The whole HOME thing.

Cleanups.

I love cleanups.

Did you say cleanup?

Now look. I know I sound idealistic as all hell that in the year 2016 I should expect every American to be offered affordable housing, but we've been TASK FORCING this issue for years. Ever since I was old enough to learn how to do mime the "I'm sorry I don't have cash on me" look as homeless people ask me for change. (A mime trick perfected when you have the empathy but don't have the time.)

I get how this works. We acknowledge a problem exists. We tell people they have the problem (the homeless). Then, it becomes our problem as homelessness becomes the 'new trend.'

Of course nobody has the pefect Christian answer. It's not that easy. They say that America was founded on Christian values and it can be daunting coming up with an answer that might fit the paradigm we like to say makes America great. If only we could find a teaching we can get behind. You think it's easy, but with so many opinions and so much dissent and so much to consider, finding the perfect answer in an ever changing, multicultural America, is hard.

To be fair, this task force is trying to find out how we can be compassionate as we kick people in need of homes out of their encampment. Hey, they're at least trying. We could be the progressive city everyone dreams of. Shirley we can lead the country in how we 'tackle' homelessness in this country?For Christ's sake! Literally?

I'm wrong of course. I want to be on page 2,016 but apparently we are on page 1,933. It's the page were homeless people were homeless because of their own actions. We all have a story. Some of us are more lucky then others to be born into families that love us. So naturally when we make that correlation the questions becomes, when it comes to the government helping out the 'less fortunate' who should get what first?

I misread the news today. It's all about HOW TO CLEAN UP THE ENCAMPMENT, not how to eradicate homelessness.

Got it. I just want to make sure I'm on the wrong page here. I always was in grade school.

I'm not a religious man, although I think JC was a cool cat. Like a cat, if he had nine lives then I think after his crucifixion he might have took a mulligan on eight more because with the way we talk about homelessness in this country we take it seriously when it affects us. Even then, we don't tackle causes and concerns, well, unless they're ours.

I may run for city council and legally change my name to Johnny Ryall to become the 'leader of the homeless.'

There's to much at stake in our Emerald City to find the best way to CLEAN UP the homeless problem as we sweep it under the rug. Or as my social media director  for my bid for  city council will say:

"Donald Trump Donald Tramp living in the men's shelter

Wonder Bread bag shoes and singing "Helter Skelter"
He asks for a dollar you know what it's for
Bottle after bottle he'll always need more
He's no less important than you working class stiffs
Drinks a lot of liquor but he don't drink piss
Paid his dues playing the blues
He claims that he wrote the Blue Suede Shoes
Elvis shaved his head when he went into the army
That's right y'all his name is
Johnny"

KICK IT!!!!!!

Homelessness