What's the Frequency Kenneth?!-----I'm feeling, not up to speed.

Beside yourself if radio's gonna stay
Reason: it could polish up the gray
Put that put that put that up your wall
That this isn't country at all

Rapid Eye Movement 

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" is your Benzedrine, uh-huh
I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed
I thought I'd pegged you an idiot's dream
Tunnel vision from the outsider's screen
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh
You wore our expectations like an armored suit, uh-huh

If you're like me, your'e following this election cycle as if you're the dude in the Stanley Kubrik film Clockwork Orange. You scream and the eyes that would blink stare deep into the abyss of what is America's future.

We have orange is the new crazy.

UGH!

One of my favorite bands growing up was R.E.M. or Rapid Eye Movement band.

One of my favorite songs growing up was R.E.M.'s What's the frequency Kenneth?

In the song, the band parodies in a dark sardonic way Dan Rather's attackers in the late 80's at knife point. They had screamed WHAT"S THE FREQUENCY KENNETH? before stabbing him repeatedly. Luckily he survived the attack. 

Crazy song facts my Dad knew before the internet!

I have made it a point this election season to ask everyone either in my real life or online life, "What's the frequency?" as my form of hello.

It doesn't even half to be political. It immediately confuses people, goes over their head, or allows me to act like Ted Mosby and explain........

"Kids, back in the early 90's there were great rock n roll bands. Have I told you about the time I learned who R.E.M. was?" 

((SNORING))

I fancy myself as a smart ass. The ass that's smart. Smart enough to know when I'm getting a good deal or a bad deal for all you Howie Mandel Deal or No Deal fans.

I like my Howie Mandel as the voice of Bobby's father in Bobby's World. Now, he's a game show host and he's a judge on America's got to much talent. 

(This is NOT the Howie Mandel any of us signed up for America!)

It's also not the political landscape I wanted to sign up for this year. 

I thought Bernie gave Hillary a run for her money, as she acknowledges (at least) the many people who don't wake up in America that any established politician wakes up in. (I include the socialist Jew from Vermont.)

I was glad people have awoken up to a certain extent.

I didn't get my guy on the ticket, but damit! Janet! We have our girl. 

The left made a good pitch to America at the DNC:

 We're here, we're queer, have no fear.

The RNC? Eh, a different tune.

We're here, to spread fear, fuck the LGBT and queers! 

Back to my favorite band of the 90's, Rapid Eye Movement:

Monty this seems strange to me
The movies had that movie thing
But nonsense has a welcome ring
And heroes don't come easy

Now nonsense isn't new to me
I know my head, I know my feet
But mischief knocked me in the knees
Said, just let go, just let go

Enter the oil snake New York salesman,

America knew what she was getting into when they elected 'the Donald' as their candidate.

But why?

I'm still trying to get to that and to figure it out. Anger isn't enough of an excuse. No, I wish I thought my fellow Americans smarter then that.

Are you strapped to the gurney Alex? Get the eyes ready, because these proposals by a Republican for the POTUS are insane. 

Mischief has knocked me to the knees and now I want to know what it's going to do!

Entertainment has met our political arena in such a new heights now that policy is no longer needed. 

Just talk.

And talk...

And.....talk....talk....lie.....lie....Crooked Hillary....talk

A wall?

Deport a religion?

Sure!

I don't buy it, and I dream!

Are you looking to drive my dreams?
You here to run my screens?
You come, deliver my demons
Hooray hooray hip hip hooray

This is what these supporters have been shouting from the Donald's side and I don't get it.

Really, someone explain this to me. How can this be real??

The enemy of hate and fear are in full frontal this election series and it has my eyes wide open like Alex when maybe I want them shut like Tom Cruise in another Kubrik film.

Try Not to Breathe  America.

It's hard.

But the decision is mine, and I have lived a full life.

But I'm only 32?!

And I'm a new father, a new husband! And I'm supposed to accept this guy as our potential POTUS?

They (R.E.M.) tell us that 'Living well is the best Revenge' but it's not enough!

I live in Washington State. A state that goes bluer then a Smuf's penis. 

Don't take my word for it. Take it from Orange is the new Whack:

Taking the mic to Rapid Eye Movement's "It's the End of the World" we hear the beginning of the song,

"....Lenny Bruce is not afraid." 

"Folks let me tell you something about this author and were he lives now. First off, let me say that Ohio, Ohio. I love the buckeye state!! I just love it here. OH- ....OH...... Aw you guys are great. First off this guy, this guy, Jack. Folks, his real name is Francis. What's wrong Francis, why the name change?? But look........Look...(Points at random sycophant). I LOVE OHIIIIIO. Look, he's right about one thing. Washington? Hell the entire west coast can suck it. The liberals. The liberals. The Liberals in Hollywood would want you to think that Crooked Hillary. Say it with me. CROOOOKED HILLARY! Yes. Don't you forget it. Where was I? You guys are great!"

This is our future. 

Luckily as Trump noted to this semi fictitious speech in my Ohio hometown of Sagamore Hills, Ohio, I do live near the Canadian border. 

We're close my fellow sane Americans.

Can there be a bigger movement? I know the left rocks more then an elderly crack addict holding a pound of the crystal candy.

We need to get the Boss out of hiding. Michael Stype and Company. The Dead. We will all be grateful for the dead. No literally, like lets actually commit voter fraud this year and raise the dead ala Game of Thrones Dark Prince style and get some votes!

R.E.M. taught me everything about politics! Let's do like how they did in Gangs of New York (Donald Trump knows a thing about the big boy money gangs i.e. Wall Street cats) and let's get our voters crushed with eyeliner.

"Oh, you only voted three times today did ya Henry? Back in line!"

If my position seems grave, these are the days we are living in.\ Republicans have jumped ship like a rich family from the Titanic.

"Women and children. And...Sane, sensible Repbulicans!"

"What's that?"

"Shut up! Life boats straight ahead!"

I digress.

But I don't rest.

I will do everything I can to ensure that Donald Drumpf (His real name), doesn't see the White House.

He's seen enough 'white houses' in his day as he's foreclosed on too many black and brown houses.

He's a snake oil salesman. A turn of the century millennial monster who's peddled entertainment, fear and the mantra of 'you're fired!"

If Mark Twain were alive today I think he'd be rocking out to R.E.M. and saying to the electoriate in his whitty charm:

"What der fuck is the matter with ya'll? The Gilded Age is upon you people for the second time and you want to elect a man who would start World War 3? Also, somebody give me a cigarette. Aw shit, women can vote! Alright you fuckers!"

He swore a lot, Mark Twain.

"What the fuck people. Did you not read any of my shit?"-Mark Twain on the 2016 election. And ending of this years highly acclaimed ABC broadcast The Bachelor.

So where do we go from here?

How do we get the rocking bands together to fight against the 'thin skinned, small handed vulgarian'?

We have three months people. I feel like the judge in the Robin Williams, Sally Field classic Mrs. Doubtfire:

"I'm giving you three months Mr. Hillard. Three months to get a job, keep it, and maintain some sense of normalcy."

America, we need to wake up. 

What's the frequency Kenneth?

"I love only two things. Television, and everybody!"

Well, I know what the frequency is people. Facts are thrown to the wayside. Emotion means everything.

My rapid eye movement will be at an all time high as I watch the debates, watch Hillary mop the floor with every ism and ist that is bad but accepted.

We know the frequency shiny happy people. 

The question is, do we want to change the channel? 

Somebody pass me the remote control.

I've seem to have lost it. Unlike my R.E.M. I never understood the frequency.

Uh huh.