PhoneBook

Phonebook

A Sleep Up Ambien Production 

Written in the spirit of the late great George Carlin.

Did you know that before the Facebook there was Phonebook?

It didn't have lots of pictures, just names, addresses and numbers.

I'm on Phonebook.

It wasn't really interested in likes

It didn't need to be tagged.

Just read here and there for practical use.

It didn't have comments.

But it had sections, by last name!

You may have surprised someone by calling them on a land line!

Maybe you wished them happy birthday!

But how did you know it was their birthday?

You could write them a letter to send in the mail.

No E before mail back then.

You had an address, so you might visit them by surprise!

It took a little more effort then a click of a mouse.

Back then, we wouldn't allow mice in the home.

Did you know how to get 'there'?

No?!

Well, looks like we're getting lost.

"Hey, I never saw that store before!"

People got lost, nothing was ever found.

Especially your keys!

The Phonebook could be used for all sorts of things.

From a door stopper to a ladder of sorts.

Of course Phonebook lost to Facebook

And to face time which replaced the real time,

of human connection which,

in another dimension in time and space

was replaced,

by your face on a device,

which, eh, seemed nice

but the spice of real connection lost attention

of human kind,

Can we rewind?

We have videos on our phone
but we're still home alone.

In looking for that rectangle in our pocket,
We're hitting the out of tune rocket.
Countdown with me.
5..
4...
3...
2..
1...
Ah man, I missed not only a call,
but a poll on eating in the raw!
There's a quiz for common sense
that says I need to pay 50 cents I'm dense.

We have more information at our fingertips
but we're rarely thinking, from our brains to lips.
The bullies used to make fun of those online,
now online is where everyone is!


I wish you'd just see that human interaction

is part of this faction that's a retraction of

"Oh can you please put down your phone,

you're not alone, look up."

There's a whole world looking for connection to the direction of real affection.

But look, although we may be falling

and your cell is loud and calling.

Come back to land and pick up your phone.

I've been trying to reach you by the phone book.


Written in the Spirit of George Carlin
The Life of Genius