365 And Glad To Be Alive (One Year Somber Story) *Sober, I mean Sober!

On the 'telephone' with a 'lady' who calls herself 'Gaga.'

365 And Glad To Be Alive (for real this time, ha!)

If there's one thing I've not only learned on an intellectual level, but more so on a spiritual level, it's that life is very, very funny.

I didn't always think that. Even as an optimist most of my life struggling with depression and anxiety.

Take my day one of choosing that in my life moving forward I've taken my last alcoholic drink.

That kid is 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'!

Put him in the basket CHIEF!

For some, the situation has come to a halt. There's an arrest, a major incident that touches the heart and mind. Perhaps someone was so drunk and did something so deplorable that FINALLY it reached them on a level of cognitive awareness of,

"Huh, I can keep bullshitting myself that there's not a problem, but man I need to clean up this house now!"

I didn't have that 'ah-ha' moment as Oprah Winfrey would proclaim.

That's not to say I haven't had my share of 'roaring 20's' stories that were the opposite of any prohibition in American history. Like the mob, I ran free during a national dry spell that was the early 00's and mid 00's.

My blood alcohol level, while not John Bonham levels, usually had a hammer of the god's fill in it.

I had the "Hmm I see" moment.

Was it getting randomly shot, being life flighted, thirteen life saving surgeries awakening to a new gratitude for life?

Ha! No.

Getting married to like the coolest girl, sorry woman ever?

Try again.

Becoming a father to an adorable baby that is the epitome of her 'mama'?

One would think.

I've been blessed with an amazing family, wife and baby and yet time and time again I'd come back to an 'old familiar friend' to quell any anxiety or small dose of PTSD.

"Hey it's not like I do it everyday. Relax." I'd tell myself.

"You deserve this."

"You deserve this."


So what did in it for me? Well I had been contemplating it for the New Year as a goal, but my resolutions always seemed to go two months out and then fizzle like a Cleveland Brown's offense*


*(Bad example. That's a week out maybe?)

Superbowl 50!?

Feb 7, 2016

Thank you Peyton Manning.

Yes. Peyton Manning going out on top was interviewed right after winning. I was happy for the guy. In his moment of glory he was happy to go out on top as he was on the field in all his glory and told the cameras and I quote.

"I'm going to go home and enjoy a Budweiser."

I sat there with my 7th screwdriver, and not a Philips-head-kind thinking:

"Huh?"

That's when it hit me. A football in the face!

No.

I'm retiring too!

Granite, is a rock.

And granite, I learned he has stock in the company so it was a nice shout out but maybe it was me getting older but I remember thinking to myself,

"I mean I know athletes aren't role models nor do I pretend to think they actually are although can be I guess, but really? Man I'm old. Also, why is Peyton Manning showing me sobriety?!?!??!"

I'm retiring this rationalization that I A.) need a little of this stuff and B.) I deserve it.

I deserve to be happy and everyday I'm awakened to that idea that it's possible no matter how hard the day is through sobriety to embrace the unknown fully, in action.

You have to want it, right?

I forgot after my life altering saving grace moment that to be anxious, sad, and what have you is a blessing in disguise (for me) in that it reaffirms that I'm still a human being.

There's empathy. And it starts with me.

My lovely wife and small child (two people way smarter than me) show me everyday how adults do things.

Avery can do the dishes and cook at 17months it really is quite remarkable thing to watch!

One day as she balances her toys in both hands I can see her showing me how the checkbook does the same thing.

Addiction is a hard demon for a lot of people and I've been given the tools and people who are a positive reinforcement in my life.

Adults can rationalize. Look at American politics right now.

Others aren't so lucky.

The best thing people can do for people who battle with anxiety, depression, addition, etc, etc, is to offer an ear and listen.

This is truly hard for me.

Be a friend. We are all on the same Earth and different paths not greater then anyone in my opinion.

That's something I'm learning to do everyday. Sobriety helps remind me that the loudest voice in the room isn't the most powerful and that you have to stay in tune with yourself.

Be mindful. Be respectful. Focus on you and you alone before the mouth opens (or words are typed)

It's a daily reminder.

A daily affirmation.

I kid to those who listen that while I profoundly have respect for A.A. (Akron, Ohio what what?!) I'm more of an elevator guy. A.A. has steps. I like the path of least resistance.

But now I fully understand spiritually that through sobriety the stairs help you lose that negative weight that's been holding you down.

Fat is good. Negative fat (rationalizations, pity parties (oh so fun), dissing yourself (what is this Yo MTV raps?) is not good.

So I'll continue to daily affirm my sobriety and try and offer an ear to those who need it.

If you're reading this, I take from you some wise words, a kind funny moment, a remembrance of how you affirm this truth.

"But is Oasis not the best British band since the Beatles?! Can we not agree on this??!"-Will Ferrell


Am I going back to beat myself up or rehash the past or say 'would of, could of, should of?'

Nah. It's time wasted. I have now.

And never going back again.

Thanks for reading. Live for today party people.

your partner in crime,

Action Jackson

P.S. In case anyone is wondering what the 'state of comedy' is in our new nation one only needs to look at the party in the upper left portion of our country to see that the Emerald City (Seattle) is at it again folks! -Donald Trump     (I couldn't believe he actually said this) ;-)